When people talk about buying a home, it usually comes down to price, location, transport, and amenities. The usual things. But for many households, those are not the main considerations. The real constraint is family.

Whether it's ageing parents, young children, or both, family dynamics aren't an afterthought. For most households, it's the main consideration.

Think about it. If your parents are getting older and starting to need more frequent assistance, you'll probably want to stay close, maybe even live together. And if you have kids, you'd have to think ahead and live in proximity to your choice of school. Otherwise, your child would not even get admitted.

So it's clear that intergenerational responsibilities play a huge role in housing decisions. The real question is: how will they affect your decision?

As parents age, the need for practical, day-to-day support grows, whether it's accompanying them to medical appointments, helping with errands, or simply being nearby in case something happens. The Ministry of Health has consistently highlighted the role of family caregivers as a key pillar of eldercare in Singapore's ageing society. Living nearby reduces caregiver strain, travel time, and response delays, all practical considerations that translate directly into housing choices.

Luckily for you, staying close to family is incentivised. HDB itself offers Proximity Housing Grants (PHG) to encourage family members to stay close enough for mutual care without forcing co-living. The grant provides up to $30,000 for those buying a resale flat to live with or within 4km of their parents/child. And it's clearly working. According to HDB's Sample Household Survey 2023/24, 64.5% of younger married residents lived with or near their parents, up from 57.4% in 2018.

Alas, family obligations don't end with parents, it gets more complicated when you have your own kids. But if caring for parents pulls buyers towards familiar neighbourhoods, children often push them towards schools.

In Singapore, proximity to schools is not just about convenience and shorter commutes, but more about the school registration system. When a primary school has more applicants than available spots, priority is given to the kid living closer to the school. Plus, under the Ministry of Education's rules, families would have to stay at the registered address for at least 2.5 years before the time of registration.

This has direct implications for housing demand. Areas near well-regarded primary schools tend to see stronger price resilience and transaction activity. As a result, many people anchor their housing decisions around school zones early, sometimes even before children are born.

Multi-generational living is quite common in Singapore as it can be very practical. Grandparents can help with childcare. Adult children can help keep an eye on ageing parents without travelling across town. Day-to-day support becomes easier, more natural. It's why HDB has schemes like the Multi-Generation Priority Scheme (MGPS), and why larger flat types continue to see steady demand despite higher prices.

But anyone who's done it will tell you that it can also be stressful.

Privacy is usually the first pain point. Different generations have different rhythms, habits, and expectations of personal space. What one person sees as being involved, another might experience as hovering. Parenting styles can clash. So can opinions about household routines, noise levels, and how shared spaces are used.

That's why larger flat types like 5-room or executive flats are more popular amongst families. Simply because they allow some degree of separation. Everyone gets their own rooms, and common areas aren't cramped. However, larger homes also mean higher prices, especially in mature estates where many parents already live.

This is where families often face hard choices. Do you pay more to stay together comfortably? Move further out for more space and pass up on the proximity grant? Or compromise and hope everyone adjusts?

Each choice comes with its own opportunity cost and it's not something you can easily undo. If you change your mind halfway, there could be real financial consequences. So if you buy without thinking things through and realise later that you don't like your living situation, you could be stuck with that decision for years before you're able to make another move.

Some families also look to dual-key properties, units that allow two separate living spaces within one property, offering more privacy while keeping family close. Of course, dual-key units aren't a perfect fix. They're priced at a premium, limited in supply, and not every layout may work for you.

Ultimately, multi-generational living isn't just about fitting more people into one home. So for families considering this path, housing decisions have to be more deliberate.

When family considerations pull you in different directions, there's rarely a "perfect" home. What usually helps is reframing the decision.

Instead of asking, "What's the best property I can buy?", it might be more useful to ask, "What problem is this home meant to solve for my family over the next phase of life?"

If the next step for your household is to start caregiving, then staying close to parents may matter more than having a newer flat or condo facilities. But if you have young children who will start school in the next few years, you might want to secure a place near a good school early, even if it means living in a smaller home for now.

In any case, nothing is permanent. Parents may be independent today but need more support later. Children will eventually outgrow neighbourhood schools. That's why you need to know your timeline and plan in steps, rather than trying to get everything right in one move.

Some prioritise proximity first, then upgrade for space later. Others buy larger homes earlier, knowing they may hold them longer to avoid repeated moves. There's no single right answer. It all depends on your situation.

And don't forget that you still need to consider cash flow, flexibility, and how much risk the household can comfortably take on while juggling caregiving, childcare, and work.

So before you decide on anything, perhaps ask yourself these questions:

• How close do I realistically need to be to my parents? Not just today, but a few years from now?
• Is this a home meant to support multi-generational living, or just proximity?
• How important is school proximity, and when will it start to matter?
• Can my household comfortably afford the space we need, not just the space we want?
• How flexible is this decision if the situation changes? Is there room to adapt if parents' health, children's schooling, and work situations evolve?

As it turns out, buying a home isn't just about price and location. It's also about the complexities and responsibilities within a family.

When you have intergenerational responsibilities, it's important to understand how these nuances fit into your broader property picture. That's why the "right" home isn't always the biggest, newest, or most central one. It's the home that fits your family's needs.

For households juggling caregiving, schooling, and finances, having a structured framework like the Property Wealth System (PWS) can be helpful. It could help you map housing decisions across different life stages, rather than just following the trend. If you're interested, you can watch this short clip below.